02. motherhood / in honor of year no.7
a collection of real-life mom moments to encourage you & possibly make you laugh
it’s been 7 years. my oldest little lady, my first born, just had her birthday and somehow it also feels like my own. not in the way to steal that sweet moment of her coming earth-side, but as a reminder engraved on my heart that I, too, became a mother on that day.
in honor of year no.7, read on for a few stories that’ll hopefully make you smile, encourage you, maybe laugh, and remind you that motherhood, though with it’s ups and downs, is a gift.
1. // I HAD IT ALL WRONG
as much as I had envisioned becoming a mom one day, nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the moment it became a reality.
I (naively) thought it was going to be a seamless transition.
get married. get pregnant. have the baby. take the baby home. feed the baby. change the baby. be happy. i’m a mom now. yay.
I thought I was going to be a natural at it but that part never came. instead my first few weeks were some of the hardest I had ever lived. I didn’t understand why all the new moms I saw were so happy and all shared the same phrase “it was love at first sight” and yet I was met with joy and so much sadness rolled up into a ball. it was probably one of the biggest transitions I would come across in life and I was angry at the world because no one had told me about it.
looking back I obviously laugh at the fact that I was mad at that, but the feelings were real. there was so much that went on during that time, but if you’re a new mom or have been there, just know you weren’t alone.
the thing about motherhood is that you evolve, and thank God, He changes us. He also walks with us through the heaviest of times and strengthens us to do things we otherwise thought impossible. but here I am, a few years later and He’s traded many sorrows for deep joy. I know He can do it for you, too, if He hasn’t already.
“The story told about you in the future depends on the story you are living today… You cannot leave a story of faithfulness in the minds and hearts of your children, grandchildren, and others unless you actually live your story with faith, courage, moral excellence, self-discipline, and sacrificial love today.”
2. // THE ONE THING I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOOGLED
out of all the things i’ve googled in life, this one by far is the one I will never forget: “how to put a baby carseat in a shopping cart”.
yep. you read that right.
I was a first time mom and my first little lady was about three months old. I had to start grocery shopping again and I had no idea how to take a tiny little baby with me. so where do you go to get practical answers? the internet of course.
I hadn't really learned about “carrying” your baby (as in, using a carrier) at this point so my travel system stroller was my mom-bestie for a long time. I went to the store that day and did just what the video taught me— grabbed my car seat, put it horizontally over the shopping cart, it snapped in (which I thought was so cool at the time), and off we went. little did I know it was the beginning of countless grocery shopping trips and outings with a child-in-tow.
a little over a year later little lady no.2 came along and off we went grocery shopping, out to the stores and sometimes traveling on our own to other places.
a few years later little lady no.3 made her entrance and as soon as we could, the outings continued.
i’m quite surprised by how often I get asked,
“do you go grocery shopping with your kids? alone? yes. how do you do it?”
“how do you travel alone on an airplane, with your children?”
at first it almost felt weird to me to get asked those questions because in my mind i thought most women did the same. many women I talked to expressed a bit of anxiousness around the issue, a lot of worries, and thinking about all the what-ifs that hadn’t even happened yet.
so here’s my very simple, almost laughable, “secret” to doing hard things as a mom all on my own— I don’t think about it.
let me explain.
do I prepare? YES. I bring the snacks, the travel games, and the things I have found to make outings and trips easier with littles (i’ll write about this soon) BUT I don’t think about the things that haven’t happened yet or every worse case scenario, I leave that for the moment it happens. I prepare myself mentally that anything can happen, there may be challenges but i’ll deal with them in the moment, not five days before in a made up situation rolling around in my mind.
I realize we’re all different and you just might be saying, “yea, okay. easier said than done.” it is, but we can train ourselves to change. many times as moms we use so much of our energy to focus on the negative instead of using that same energy to train our minds and begin to make small changes that add up. we take on added stress because we let our minds spiral.
this isn’t a “wow! what a mom hack!”. it’s practical. it’s useful and can touch many areas of our lives as moms if we choose to. you may not even have the need to or want to do these things on your own with your children and that’s fine, but for those of us who do, maybe this will challenge you today.
3. // BURDENS + PURPOSE
I recently got a sweet message from a friend and new mom saying “i’m sorry” for not being there in the way I may have needed a friend when I became a mom myself. I told her that we all go through the same thing. once we walk through it ourselves, God gives us a new burden in the best way. that’s the reason I felt lead to start my motherhood account a few years ago, because of that burden God laid on my heart for all the women who were walking the very same path.
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others, When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
- 1 Corinthians 1:4
here are a few ways to comfort and “be there” for a new mom in your life:
a meal / phone call or text / a “how are YOU feeling"?” / a hug / a letter / a “can I pray with you?” / an “i’m coming over to help so you can go take a nap” / a gift card / a ride to do an errand / her favorite drink at her doorstep / sitting and listening
4. // THINGS I ALWAYS WANT TO REMEMBER
God chose you for your children and your children for you. no mistakes were made.
laugh more about the things that won’t matter ten minutes from now. remember this phrase and use it: “I love you more than ________” (wise words from Anjuli. watch her video)
no matter your question or dilemma when it comes to parenting, there isn’t a manual BUT God is there and He’s way better than a manual. talk to Him first and often.
pick your battles. if they want their fruit in slices and not whole, just cut it in slices.
talk less, listen more to them.
learn their love language and love on them just like that.
put your phone down more while they’re around, but do prop it up somewhere and record your every day moments together for your personal memory bank.
pray pray pray fervently for your children, little or big. don’t forget that prayers at the kitchen sink count, too. God listens and answers.
“I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.”
- 2 Timothy 1:5
5. // SOMETHING PRACTICAL
for almost two years my husband was only home on the weekends and the rest of the week he had to work/live in another location about 2.5 hours away. our two daughters at the time were 6 months and 2 years old and I learned a few things when it came to using my time wisely (to say the least).
one of the things I do often now, which I did this week, is put two of my little ladies to take a bath and I clean/wipe-down the bathroom. I vacuum the floor, clean the toilet, sink and counters, wipe the mirrors and I leave the tub for another day. it’s a win-win— they get playtime and mommy cleans. oh, and when I can, I’ll have a sheet pan dinner or something in the oven beforehand so it cooks and is ready when we’re all done in the bathroom!
motherhood is everything I didn’t know I needed. God has answered many prayers when He gave us our children. so when I’m tired at the end of the day, tying up loose ends around the house, and then laying down to finally rest, I get to do it with a grateful heart because i’m living the very moments I once prayed for.
rooting for you,
Kay